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It's Not the Church's Job to Raise Our Kids

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

 

We live in a world that seems to get busier every year.  Houses are more expensive.  Commutes are longer.  Jobs are more demanding.  Children’s activities are more time-consuming.  As a result, there are tens of millions of Americans who have every minute of every day scheduled for something. 

Lots of important things suffer as a result of this lifestyle, and children are at the top of the list.  For years “quality time” has been the parenting buzzword.  Maybe you only ever talk with your kid for 10 minutes a day on the way to soccer practice, but with enough wisdom and effort, you can make that conversation Meaningful.

However, quality time doesn’t seem to yield the results that a lot of parents want, particularly when it comes to religion.  It’s no secret that young people have been leaving the Lord’s church in droves.  They might be headed to a great college and a great career, but they don’t seem to be headed to heaven.  Sometimes, this happens despite everything that parents can do.  More of the time, it happens because of what parents didn’t do. 

In this increasingly perilous environment, parents are increasingly looking to outsource religious instruction to the church.  This is, after all, consonant with modern parental strategy.  You don’t teach your son to play soccer.  You pay to put him on a soccer team, and the coach does that.  You don’t teach your daughter to play the clarinet.  You pay for music lessons, and the music teacher does that.

Instruction is the province of experts, so parents want to leave religious instruction to religious experts.  It’s the church’s job to have really good, really thorough Sunday-morning Bible classes.  It’s the church’s job to organize activities, so that your kids can make good friends instead of the trash friends they’re likely to make at school.

There are two problems with this.  The first is time.  Even if you also take your kid to Wednesday-night Bible classes _and_ the monthly teen devotion, 2.25 hours a week is not enough to bring up a child in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 

In fact, only a parent (two parents if we’re following God’s plan) can possibly devote the time to do the job right.  This can’t be an activity.  It has to be a way of life.  If you don’t have the time, parents, you need to make the time.  God doesn’t expect you to live in that house, drive that car, or chauffeur your kid around to 57 different activities.  He does expect you to teach them about Him. 

Second, when it comes to a child’s spirituality, parents are (or at least should be) the experts.  Nobody knows my kid like I do.  Because of shared DNA and shared lives, I know them.  I know the way they think.  As a result, nobody is better equipped than I am to give them spiritual guidance.  No Sunday-school teacher or youth minister, no matter how willing, can step into my place.

It’s very convenient to make the church responsible for the way our kids turn out.  That way, we don’t have to invest much effort ourselves, and if they turn out badly, we can blame the church.  However, no matter how much we might want to transfer the burden of parenting, it remains solidly on our shoulders.  No matter how much we squint, the word “church” will not magically appear in Ephesians 6:4.  The work of training our children is ours.  Either we do it, or we don’t.

Should I Use One Bible for Everything?

Tuesday, December 04, 2018

 

Even though I’m out of the Bible-review business, the form of the word of God still fascinates me almost as much as its contents.  As a result, it was with great interest that I read a post about Bibles from my friend and brother Ryan Boyer.  Ryan argued that just as a police officer or other firearm-wielder ought to rely on one weapon, so that they can become completely familiar with all its characteristics and quirks, so too Christians ought to rely on one Bible.

There’s a lot that I like about Ryan’s argument.  First of all, it’s emotionally powerful.  Lots of Bible collectors are Bible collectors because they’ve spent decades searching for that one perfect Bible that does everything they want it to.  Something inside us believes that we ought to have a one-and-only Bible, and I think it’s a mistake to ignore that voice.

Second, there’s much to be said for familiarity with a particular physical format.  Barring some unusual circumstance, I do think it’s wise to make our primary Bible the Bible that we use for daily reading.  An increasing number of studies have found that we better remember what we have read from a physical book as opposed to a screen.  We are physical creatures, and reading out of a paper Bible is a physical act.  The sensation of holding the Bible and manipulating the pages, plus seeing layout in a non-virtual space, helps us remember where passages are.

After having used dozens of Bibles during my Bible-reviewing days, I’ve settled on a primary Bible (a top-grain cowhide Crossway Large-Print Thinline Reference, not that I’m particular about covers or anything) and enjoy having a primary Bible.  However, there are still circumstances in which I turn to a different Bible:

- I rarely-to-never bring my primary Bible home from the church building because I am absent-minded and will end up leaving it at home, which is unhelpful.

- When I'm studying with somebody who is a Biblical novice but wants to use a paper Bible, I will use a Bible with the same layout and page numbering as our giveaway Bibles (the Crossway Large-Print Value Thinline).  That way, I can tell them, "Turn to Page 1152,” even if they don't know Genesis from Revelation.  However, this Bible isn't a wonderful reading Bible for me (the lines are too short), and it doesn't have a lot of the helps I look for in a desk Bible.

- When I'm preparing a textual study of a book, my first step is to read the book out of my six-volume Crossway Reader's Bible.  This Bible is optimized for reading and doesn't have chapter or verse numbers, so that I have an easier time following the flow of argument through the book.  However, it's tough to preach out of a Bible with no chapter or verse numbers!  Lack of chapter numbers also makes it difficult to use this Bible to keep either of my two reading schedules.

Ultimately, I believe (and I know Ryan would agree) that the word of God that matters most isn’t the word of God in our hands.  It’s the word of God in our hearts.  So far as I know, not one first-century Christian possessed a complete copy of the New Testament, but they managed just fine without it. 

That same word still saves us today, and whatever method will best get it inside us, be it a top-grain cowhide Crossway Large-Print Thinline Reference, a different translation for each day of the week, or even an e-Bible on a smart phone, that’s the method we should use.   What we are reading or studying can make a difference.  That we are reading and studying makes all the difference in the world.

Heaven, the Eternal Party?

Monday, December 03, 2018

 

I suppose it makes sense that the New Testament figure with the most to say about the afterlife is the One who had actually seen it beforehand.  I’ve known for years that the Bible records more teaching about hell from Jesus than from any other source.  It makes for an amusing rebuttal to the people who claim to be followers of a sweetness-and-light Jesus while rejecting the teachings of His mean ole followers.  Wherever they found their Jesus, they didn’t find Him in the Scriptures.

Recently, I’ve come to realize that Jesus is also the source most responsible for Bible teaching about our afterlife in heaven.  Sure, you’ve got a goodly chunk of material in Revelation 21-22, but I’m only about 55 percent certain that it’s about heaven (as opposed to being about the victorious church), and John’s efforts to conceal his point from Scripturally ignorant contemporaries also serve to conceal his point pretty well from many Christians today.  Unless you’re playing Old Testament Reference Bingo as you work through Revelation, you’re not going to get it.

Jesus, on the other hand, talks about heaven in Matthew 22:1-14, 25:1-13, Luke 13:22-30, 14:15-24, and 22:28-30.  Toss in the description of paradise as “Abraham’s side” in Luke 16:19-31, and you’ve got a considerable body of teaching that all employs the same accessible metaphor.  To Jesus, heaven is a banquet, a wedding feast.  I don’t think we’re doing the text a disservice to say that Jesus wants us to see heaven as an eternal party.

At this thought, a number of brethren become alarmed.  In our society, after all, “party” has some ugly connotations.  We hear “party” and think “frat-house kegger”.  However, even for us, the essence of partying isn’t in getting drunk and sinning.  Somebody who gets drunk by himself isn’t a party animal.  He’s an alcoholic. 

Instead, having a party is about being around other people and having fun with them.  Certainly, I would choose different companions than the boys down at Delta Psi, and I would do different things with those companions, but for all of us, a party is about companionship.

As ideas go, that one is awfully close to the Biblical concept of fellowship, and fellowship is exactly what Jesus is attempting to convey with all of his feasting imagery.  In Luke 16, Lazarus isn’t in Abraham’s bosom because they’re snuggling.  It’s because they’re reclining at table, and Lazarus is leaning back against Abraham.  In the final working-out of the kingdom of God, pauper and patriarch will celebrate together.

In No Exit, Sartre famously declares that hell is other people.  He is exactly wrong.  Hell isn’t other people.  Heaven is.  It’s impossible for us to get to heaven without loving others, and heaven will be filled with those who return our love.  The joy that we experience there will be like the joy of an evening spent with dear friends, only intensified and prolonged for eternity.  

Of course, the centerpiece of this eternal feast will be the bridegroom Himself, Jesus.  I’ve never had a conversation with Jesus, though I desperately long to, but in heaven, the yearning of every honest heart for Him will be satisfied.  Forever with the Lord, forever with His people—that’s a party that everyone should strive to attend!

Fools for Christ's Sake

Friday, November 02, 2018

 

I admit to being reassured by the apostle Paul’s use of sarcasm.  As any student of Scripture knows, rather than being sweetly earnest all the time, Paul had a keen sense of irony, and he didn’t hesitate to deploy it for rhetorical effect.  One of the most sarcastic passages in Paul’s writing appears in 1 Corinthians 4:8-13.  Here, he compares the presumed spiritual accomplishments of the Corinthians to his own suffering for Christ’s sake.  Particularly, in v. 10, he observes, “We are fools for Christ’s sake, but you are wise in Christ.  We are weak, but you are strong, You are held in honor, but we in disrepute.”

The idea of being a fool for Christ is well worth unpacking.  Of course, Paul isn’t speaking in spiritual terms here.  He’s offering a world’s-eye-view, or, more precisely, a weak-Christian’s-eye-view, of the difference between him and the Corinthians.  They had apparently managed to straddle the gap between Christ and the world, belonging to the former while remaining respectable in the eyes of the latter. 

Paul, on the other hand, did all sorts of “foolish” things.  He didn’t ask churches for money.  He was loud about his faith even when he knew it would get him in trouble.  He got kicked out of synagogues.  He made such a nuisance of himself for Christ that he was constantly getting entangled in legal trouble or even run out of town.  Paul was at war with the world, not on good terms with it, and the conflict constantly made his life more difficult.  However, in God’s eyes, Paul, not the Corinthians, was on the right track.

Today, we must grapple with the possibility that unless we are willing to be fools for Christ’s sake, we might not be anythings for Christ’s sake.  This is hard.  Like the Corinthians, we want to be respectable, and it’s easy for Christians to fall into a respectable Chamber-of-Commerce kind of religion.  We can be good solid citizens who go to church on Sunday, never do anything crazy, and leave everybody else alone.

The problem is, though, that Chamber-of-Commerce religion isn’t Christlike.  It’s Christ-lite.  Jesus was righteous, not respectable.  The respectable elements of His society generally hated Him.  He was loud.  He caused too much trouble.  He didn’t appreciate them the way they felt they should be appreciated.  He demanded that people make dramatic changes in their lives for God’s sake.  Ultimately, He picked too many fights with the wrong people and got nailed to a cross for it.  “What a fool,” we can imagine them saying, shaking their heads sadly.

We need to be the same kind of fool.  We need to be loud about Jesus and not shut up, even when others start thinking less of us for it.  We need to be willing to do the right thing, even if society thinks we’re nuts for doing it.  In short, we need to prove that this world is not our home by doing the things that the wise citizens of this world don’t do.  Otherwise, we cannot foreclose the possibility that rather than using Jesus’ playbook, we’re merely using the playbook of the worldly wise.

 

Be Sure Their Phone Will Find You Out

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

 

Since the rise of Internet pornography, much has been made about how easy it is to be a secret sinner these days.  That’s true, but in many other ways, keeping sin secret has become much harder.  I was reminded of this by a couple of recent news stories.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2018/10/29/she-was-white-hot-racist-video-now-shes-viral-unemployed/?utm_term=.125d9cd2dee2

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/lauren-mccluskey-slain-student-paid-her-killer-dollar1000-to-halt-posting-of-photos-police-say-she-told-them/ar-BBOWDDn

In the first, a drunken woman’s racist rant was captured for all the world to see by her victim’s smartphone.  In the second, another woman became entangled with a man who eventually murdered her because she had earlier allowed him to take compromising photos of her.

Of the two scenarios, the first is much more straightforward.  Bad behavior that used to remain private now can go viral.  25 years ago, Susan Westwood would have faced no consequences for her outburst.  Today, she lost her job less than 24 hours later, and the stigma of that recording will follow her for the rest of her life. 

The take-home is pretty simple.  Don’t get drunk.  Don’t say mean, hateful things to people.  If you do, the odds are that someone will use their smartphone to record you and wreck you.  Those chickens will come home to roost in a big way.

Lauren McCluskey’s case is considerably more complex.  I have the utmost sympathy for her, her family, and all who knew her.  No one deserves to be the victim of sexual extortion and murder.  She was not “asking for it”.

At the same time, though, we must not blind ourselves to the lessons we ought to learn from her tragic end.  It is always risky and frequently sinful to take intimate photos/video of ourselves, or to allow others to take them of us.  I don’t think it’s a sin for a husband and wife to send such things to each other, but all it takes is one nosy co-worker.  Then, that unguarded phone or logged-in Facebook account can produce something that will haunt you for decades.

Of course, producing and sharing explicit photos/video outside of marriage is always wrong.  It’s also much riskier.  Marriage, though it often isn’t, is at least supposed to be for life.  More casual relationships aren’t.  With those, it doesn’t take a third party to expose you.  You can be betrayed by your ex, your hookup partner, the unwilling recipient of your clumsy come-on, or even some stranger on the Internet who talked you into flashing them. 

In fact, the momentum of our society makes this likely to occur.  As the cynical saying goes, the Internet is for porn.  When countless indecent pictures are already public, it seems reasonable to the possessor of an indecent picture of you to make it public too.  Nor are worldly people likely to be deterred by the thought of the anguish it will cause you.  In fact, they probably consider that part of the fun.

The spiritual consequences of sin always have been severe, but in this area, the physical consequences are quickly catching up.  Because one moment of foolishness and evil can ruin us, we must be constantly on our guard.  It may well be that the recording we don’t want anyone to see becomes the recording that everyone sees.  As Paul points out in Ephesians 5:15-16, the days are evil.  We had best walk carefully. 

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